Week 5: Budget

I write about this thrilling fifth week for the sake of continuity. I made a vow to live on a tighter budget. My excessive indulgence at six bars last Tuesday and a partially-completed tax return convinced me that this would be a good idea if not a necessary one. Who knew that being a self-employed sometimes drunk could be so expensive? So, I visited my ATM outpost and withdrew $100 for the week.

Grocery shopping was my budget climax. While bags of oranges, cabbage, and pasta were somewhat exciting, they couldn't compare to my meat bundle. I scoured the aisles for a killer deal and discovered these $20-and-up assorted meat packs. I chose one with ground beef, hot dogs, skirt steak, pork chops, and a whole chicken. The entire grocery bill came to about $35, but it was the walk home that convinced me that food would not be a concern this week.

Shifting my value meat bundle from arm to arm, I realized that I had 14 pounds of meat. I could eat 2 pounds of meat a day! Or I could eat 1 pound of meat every day for two weeks! I felt secure, powerful, validated, like a prehistoric man hauling away a mammoth haunch after a successful hunt.

Most of my meals consisted of this boiled-cabbage-pasta fusion that never turned out the same way twice with assorted meats on top. Yes, this was the highlight of an otherwise overwhelmingly normal week.

I did go out: running, people-watching, and conversations are free. Plus, $2 Lonestar pints seem to be the standard most places. Weird Wednesday movies at the Alamo Drafthouse are a $1. I also found a bar that showed free movies on Monday with 40s for $3, but that had already happened and would have to wait until next week. My primary bike, whose pedal shaft broke off while crossing the interstate, would also have to wait that long for repairs.

Looking back, I spent most of my budget on 40s and cigarettes – I hadn't stopped smoking since picking up that random pack last Tuesday; instead of buying more nicotine gum, which I actually prefer, I kept buying cigarettes, which are cheaper on a cigarette:piece of gum scale. Staying within a $100 budget was easy - I just found cheaper ways to pursue the same vices while still spending as much time indulging in them.

So, approaching a budget from a pure dollars-and-cents perspective didn't evoke that new way of life for which I'm still looking. Money is just a thing used to measure other things. Just like my 14 pounds of meat, it's a way to feel secure, powerful, validated. Except I've spent mine is such a way as to let dead things, like 40s and cigarettes, rule me. If I don't budget accordingly, this will only grow worse.